Last week’s video blog continued our conversation about low self-esteem, addressing the possibility that we may be unintentionally contributing to it. When we talk about our students’ or kids’ weaknesses and learning differences in front of them, it can be much more damaging than we realize. Obviously these conversations aren’t intended to hurt them, but once our kids have heard our words, they can’t “unhear” them. They may begin to believe that they are different or stupid, or that something is wrong with them. Our words have the power to seriously affect our kids’ self-esteem—for better or for worse.

In response to this awareness, we shouldn’t react by choosing to ignore or avoid these conversations. Recognizing the differences is necessary in order to discover the best ways of meeting the needs. However, we do need to be intentional about when and where we are having these discussions. This intentional change could make the difference between an in-tact or damaged self-esteem.

In our video blog yesterday, we talked about focusing on the positive with our students. Whether we think of ourselves as positive people or not, it can be challenging to identify and celebrate our students’ strengths—especially when they have some substantial learning differences and struggles. However, taking the time to do just that is incredibly important.

In order to make this happen, we must be intentional about looking for strengths, making sure to think outside the box. One student may be gifted in kindness, having unusual empathy for those around; while another may be an excellent communicator and story-teller. Actual skills (musical ability, artistic aptitude, sports talent, etc.) also present a great opportunity to praise and encourage, but we should make sure not to over-emphasize success alone. Focusing more so on character strengths—such as honesty and integrity—can help our students define themselves based on who they are, rather than on what skills they have.

As we begin to celebrate the positive, our students may enjoy a slight break from the constant awareness of their weaknesses. We get to help them develop an atmosphere of encouragement—one that fosters confidence and growth. And finally, as we learn to do this with our students, we can take it a step further and look for strengths in our families, friends, and co-workers. Let’s choose a lifestyle of encouragement!

As mentioned in our video blog this week, low self-esteem presents itself in many different forms. We are more frequently familiar with the stereotypical signs of low self-esteem—those students who are quiet, sad, withdrawn, or just so clearly insecure. However low self-esteem can manifest itself on the other end of the spectrum as well. Our students who act over-the-top qualified, boastful, or over-confident are oftentimes demonstrating these behaviors from the same root of low self-esteem. To take it a step further, students who show bullying behaviors are most likely doing so to mask or cope with their own insecurities.

So what do we do with this information? Don’t be fooled by an over-confident or arrogant student. These behaviors should serve as an indicator to us that there are some deeper presenting issues of insecurity and low self-esteem. It may be harder to recognize and have sympathy for this type of behavior, but our students desperately need our support, encouragement, and genuine praise. We don’t want to reinforce their negative behaviors, but we do want to reach down to the heart level and replace their confident façades with genuine self-confidence.

As noted in last week’s video blog, low self-esteem can be a huge disability– ofttimes more than the learning differences themselves. Students who live with learning differences often arrive at believing that they are stupid or that something is wrong with them, creating insecurities that can then exacerbate their learning struggles. If we can help our students understand their learning differences and how their brains work differently—as well as their accompanying strengths and gifts—we can begin to rebuild the confidence that is necessary for them to succeed. Be real with your students, recognizing and talking about the struggles that they face every day; but don’t forget to introduce them to the amazing strengths that come with their unique differences!

Do you know that if you can read well, you can probably teach others how to read? So who might those “others” include? It might be:

— Your own child, family member, or friend of the family.

— A young child who desperately wants to learn to read.

— A child (or adult) who has failed over and over at learning to read.

— A public, private or homeschooled student who is struggling in school and needs an extra leg up because of a reading deficit.

My life is fuller because I have taught learners in all of these situations; I learned how to teach them with a simple step-by-step program. Finally, we have produced online training to fulfill one of my dreams of equipping multitudes of parents, grandparents, friends, and educators in the art and heart of using the Orton-Gillingham approach to teaching reading. I hope that all of you will join me! We really can help prevent children and adults from falling through the cracks of failure and desperation.

Our kids are waiting; let’s start a wave of learning!